Awesomeness in Selangor ~ Alhamdulillah, Ya Allah I am so sorry for not fulfilling the 3 things was asked of me. BerSYUKUR, REDHA, BerSABAR. Its easy to utter these words and tell yourself, YES I AM Bersyukur, AM Redha with what Allah bestowed on me and I AM ALWAYS BERSABAR....what.....
This morning after Subuh, I was so overcomed with so many emotions that I let myself cry it ALLLL out. I SHOULD Be bersyukur; I have many people who loves me. MasyAllah, my mak, she distance calls me practically everyday from Singapore just to say, "kau buat apa?", my apak... you are the source of my strength... I know you have always wanted me to be like my other siblings, but I just cant. Hello.. diaorang dari kecik suka gigit kuku... I dont do that!
Well I did try, so that I dont feel like an outsider but it just doesnt make sense. I Love my hands... they are the best gift Allah has given me. Who would have thought these hands will be drawing thousands of people from all walks of life. Apak, I know you dont understand why your daughter cant just be a banker or engineer and earn a good salary so she can buy a beautiful house, bags and bring her children to holidays.
You see... these drawing hands was part of the deal when mak gave birth to me.. since very young, I cant help myself when I see a pen and a paper, these hands will just draw. I cant explain how or why I do that.. but my inner self just know I have to draw and all these years I was trying to find the reason why... Apak, I know you ARE proud of your daughter, very very proud and I KNOW practicality, mana duit nya?.. my feeling is so huge when I accomplished a drawing. I dont just draw, its a labour of love.
I am always amazed at Allah's creation when I draw. I am so humbled by his masterpieces. I am doing this because its makes people happy and it touched their hearts. Please accept me for what I am. I nearly died twice... so this time around.. I have to find the purpose of my passion. The purpose of this wonderful gift from Allah.. People are always telling me how lucky I am to have been gifted but it has a price too.
In 2008, I gave birth to my beautiful and cute fifth baby, Aini Uzma. (my profile pix) It was a difficult normal delivery and Dr Thoha was succumbed to exhaustiveness and by the 10th pushed and helped by forceps (apparently her head got entangled with the umbilical cord) she made her way to the outside world.. Some how some birth blood still was in me and I was wheeled to my room. That night was the worst night ever, my other four deliveries I would be snoring myself to lalaland.. but that night I having difficulty in breathing.. (to be continued)
In 2008, I gave birth to my beautiful and cute fifth baby, Aini Uzma. (my profile pix) It was a difficult normal delivery and Dr Thoha was succumbed to exhaustiveness and by the 10th pushed and helped by forceps (apparently her head got entangled with the umbilical cord) she made her way to the outside world.. Some how some birth blood still was in me and I was wheeled to my room. That night was the worst night ever, my other four deliveries I would be snoring myself to lalaland.. but that night I having difficulty in breathing.. (to be continued)
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