Awesomeness in Selangor ~ That night was the worst night ever. My other four deliveries, I would be snoring myself to lalaland by then.. but that very night I was not feeling well and was having difficulty in breathing. I could hear my baby crying and its the norm of the hospital to leave the mother resting. I cried silently and tried to sleep and psyched myself that all this is just too much hormones going erratic in my body.
When I shut my eyes, it was so surreal... my whole life flashes before my eyes. I was not ready to go because it shudders me to think who is going to breast feed little Aini and what was to become of my 4 other kids. I have been their full time mom and I was so attached to them.
The night before, they had just hugged and kissed me and wished me well and congrats me for giving them a little sister. They even proudly mentioned that the house was already cleaned, to welcome their new baby sister and me home. That blessed night was also a moment of reflection of myself as a daughter, sister, wife, friend and most important of all a servant to Allah swt. I found myself feeling utterly guilty for not utilizing my drawing gift to the right purpose.
Her image was a blur and I remembered mumbling something to her. She helped me up and we had managed a few steps when I collapsed to the floor. In panic she called the other nurses to help her carry me back to bed.
I was struggling with my breath and telling them to call my husband, please reach my husband. The head nurse came soon after and after checking my blood pressure, she pressed my belly and found it was hard. She instructed one nurse to helped her message me from my diaphram and whoooooshed....... came out the thick sticky blood from under me. Subhanallah... I felt so relieved.....
Recalling that night, one thing that stayed close to my heart was about my gift. After bidding my career goodbye in Berita Harian, I had solely focused on raising my kids and taking care of the family. It has been 11 years since that day and I have never drawn seriously. I would help my kids in their art and craft and sometimes obliging to make cartoon cards for friends.....
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